A chat with the guys from Team 13 about hair products and Italian cold-cuts.
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
God, what can I say about Team 13 that hasn't already been covered by all major news outlets? I think at this point I can go into a huge, drawn out spiel about how much I like their band and how awesome they are to see live, but honestly, words will never do justice to this band. I thought their last studio album was better than Prince's "Purple Rain", and the last show I saw them play rivaled any Iron Maiden performance. I'll let the interview speak for itself. It was done through email, and most of the questions got edited (mostly so that they applied to all members) because I originally thought I was only interviewing Mark. Ladies and gentlemen, here it is:
WHAT’S YOUR NAME AND WHAT DO YOU DO IN THE BAND?
Mark: Mark. I play guitar and sing some
Jon: Jon. Same.
Craig: Craig. Bass.
Johnny: Shakers. And drums.
YOU GUYS SEEM TO BE MEN OF MANY DIFFERENT NAMES. TELL ME YOUR LATEST ALIASES?.
Jon: JJ Deductibles.
Johnny: Johnny Cut-a-rugs.
Mark: No more aliases. I just say things like “Mark my words… no pun intended.”
Craig: (to Mark) That sucks.
MARK, WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE REVERSE THE POLARITY OF THE NEUTRON FLOW SITE YOU USED TO HAVE?
Mark: It’s been up at a temp site at http://hometown.aol.com/team13band and is still updated on the month-to-month but soon it’ll be on www.team13band.com when the new site is up.
AND WHEN WILL THAT BE?
Johnny: Yeah, Craig, when will that be?
Craig: Next week. Or the week after…
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU’RE NOT IN THE BAND?
Mark: Watch Government Access on cable.
Johnny: Wiffleball.
Jon: Shower.
Craig: That too.
IF YOU COULD STEP INTO THE LIFE OF ANY PERSON RIGHT NOW, WHO WOULD IT BE?
Craig: Rip Taylor, he just seems to be having more fun than everyone else.
Jon: You. Because I could do this interview.
BY ALL MEANS…
Jon: What is your Halloween costume this year?
Mark: Last year I dressed as David Koresh.
Craig: But you always dress as David Koresh.
Johnny: You’re not David Koresh? That’s it I’m out the band!
WHAT’S THE STORY BEHIND NATIONAL PROSCIUTTO DAY? HOW DID THAT GET STARTED?
Craig: How does any Holiday get started? Celebrating meats.
Jon: It commemorates the day Jesus first cured a leg of ham and created prosciutto.
WHAT’S NEW WITH THE BAND?
Mark: Other than our third annual Prosciutto Day festivities? Well the full-length CD is finally done. It’s called “Triskaidekaphobia” and it’s out for Thanksgiving. Followed by a record release party in December.
Craig: Goes great with cranberry sauce.
Mark: Then, we have the new website and a split 7” with the mysterious Cabrini Green due out early next year. That’s about it on the horizon for now.
NOVEMBER HAS ALWAYS BEEN A BIG MONTH FOR TEAM 13. DO YOU THINK THE ANTICIPATION OF THE COMING HOLIDAYS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT?
Johnny: When you say holiday, do you mean National Prosciutto Day? Some might say it has to do with the amount of cured meats we eat during the holiday season that makes people creative. The native Americans smoked prosciutto and meditated. Look at what it did for their creativity.
Jon: Yeah, building the pyramids and everything.
IF YOU WERE A PORN STAR, WHAT WOULD YOUR NAME BE?
Mark: is Dong Johnson taken? What about Stubby Johnson?
Jon: Pee-Wee Richards.
Craig: Tony Lentil.
Johnny: Crotch Henderson?
WHAT’S WORSE – THE NEW MATRIX OR THE NEW STAR WARS?
Mark: Oh Star Wars definitely. It looked cool, but I honestly could’ve taken a shit in front of a blue screen for two hours and added special effects for a better movie.
Craig: I didn’t mind the new Star Wars that much…
Jon: As long as there is death…
Johnny: The main problem is the choice for Anakin. Should’ve been Dustin Diamond of Saved by the Bell fame.
WHAT PRODUCTS DO YOU USE TO STYLE YOUR HAIR? AT YOUR SHOWS, YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO BE IMPECCABLY GROOMED?
Craig: That’s kind of out of left field, but if you must know pomade.
Jon: Palm aid? That’s gross this is for a family magazine.
Johnny: This isn’t a magazine…
Mark: I prefer whipped cream because it looks like mousse but smells better.
WHAT IS IN YOUR CD PLAYER RIGHT NOW?
Mark: James Brown boxed set, the Soul Brother #1 disk.
Jon: The new AFI.
Craig: Anthrax.
Jon: The band or the disease?
Craig: Both.
Johnny: Facce Blue all shakers compositions album.
READ ANY GOOD BOOKS LATELY?
(blank stares)
Mark: Damn I read something by Jonathan Cunningham I forget the name. I remember it takes place in St. Louis and his brother dies.
Craig: Photoshop manual. It is a real page-turner.
GIVE ME ALL THE INFO EVERYONE NEEDS ABOUT THE BAND?
Mark: www.team13band.com Go there regularly. Sign up for our mailing list and whenever there’s news you’ll hear about it.
LAST WORDS?
Mark: You asking me or telling me? If asking “not guilty!”
CHECK OUT:
-// Team 13
-// Reverse the Polarity of the Neutron Flow
WHAT’S YOUR NAME AND WHAT DO YOU DO IN THE BAND?
Mark: Mark. I play guitar and sing some
Jon: Jon. Same.
Craig: Craig. Bass.
Johnny: Shakers. And drums.
YOU GUYS SEEM TO BE MEN OF MANY DIFFERENT NAMES. TELL ME YOUR LATEST ALIASES?.
Jon: JJ Deductibles.
Johnny: Johnny Cut-a-rugs.
Mark: No more aliases. I just say things like “Mark my words… no pun intended.”
Craig: (to Mark) That sucks.
MARK, WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE REVERSE THE POLARITY OF THE NEUTRON FLOW SITE YOU USED TO HAVE?
Mark: It’s been up at a temp site at http://hometown.aol.com/team13band and is still updated on the month-to-month but soon it’ll be on www.team13band.com when the new site is up.
AND WHEN WILL THAT BE?
Johnny: Yeah, Craig, when will that be?
Craig: Next week. Or the week after…
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU’RE NOT IN THE BAND?
Mark: Watch Government Access on cable.
Johnny: Wiffleball.
Jon: Shower.
Craig: That too.
IF YOU COULD STEP INTO THE LIFE OF ANY PERSON RIGHT NOW, WHO WOULD IT BE?
Craig: Rip Taylor, he just seems to be having more fun than everyone else.
Jon: You. Because I could do this interview.
BY ALL MEANS…
Jon: What is your Halloween costume this year?
Mark: Last year I dressed as David Koresh.
Craig: But you always dress as David Koresh.
Johnny: You’re not David Koresh? That’s it I’m out the band!
WHAT’S THE STORY BEHIND NATIONAL PROSCIUTTO DAY? HOW DID THAT GET STARTED?
Craig: How does any Holiday get started? Celebrating meats.
Jon: It commemorates the day Jesus first cured a leg of ham and created prosciutto.
WHAT’S NEW WITH THE BAND?
Mark: Other than our third annual Prosciutto Day festivities? Well the full-length CD is finally done. It’s called “Triskaidekaphobia” and it’s out for Thanksgiving. Followed by a record release party in December.
Craig: Goes great with cranberry sauce.
Mark: Then, we have the new website and a split 7” with the mysterious Cabrini Green due out early next year. That’s about it on the horizon for now.
NOVEMBER HAS ALWAYS BEEN A BIG MONTH FOR TEAM 13. DO YOU THINK THE ANTICIPATION OF THE COMING HOLIDAYS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT?
Johnny: When you say holiday, do you mean National Prosciutto Day? Some might say it has to do with the amount of cured meats we eat during the holiday season that makes people creative. The native Americans smoked prosciutto and meditated. Look at what it did for their creativity.
Jon: Yeah, building the pyramids and everything.
IF YOU WERE A PORN STAR, WHAT WOULD YOUR NAME BE?
Mark: is Dong Johnson taken? What about Stubby Johnson?
Jon: Pee-Wee Richards.
Craig: Tony Lentil.
Johnny: Crotch Henderson?
WHAT’S WORSE – THE NEW MATRIX OR THE NEW STAR WARS?
Mark: Oh Star Wars definitely. It looked cool, but I honestly could’ve taken a shit in front of a blue screen for two hours and added special effects for a better movie.
Craig: I didn’t mind the new Star Wars that much…
Jon: As long as there is death…
Johnny: The main problem is the choice for Anakin. Should’ve been Dustin Diamond of Saved by the Bell fame.
WHAT PRODUCTS DO YOU USE TO STYLE YOUR HAIR? AT YOUR SHOWS, YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO BE IMPECCABLY GROOMED?
Craig: That’s kind of out of left field, but if you must know pomade.
Jon: Palm aid? That’s gross this is for a family magazine.
Johnny: This isn’t a magazine…
Mark: I prefer whipped cream because it looks like mousse but smells better.
WHAT IS IN YOUR CD PLAYER RIGHT NOW?
Mark: James Brown boxed set, the Soul Brother #1 disk.
Jon: The new AFI.
Craig: Anthrax.
Jon: The band or the disease?
Craig: Both.
Johnny: Facce Blue all shakers compositions album.
READ ANY GOOD BOOKS LATELY?
(blank stares)
Mark: Damn I read something by Jonathan Cunningham I forget the name. I remember it takes place in St. Louis and his brother dies.
Craig: Photoshop manual. It is a real page-turner.
GIVE ME ALL THE INFO EVERYONE NEEDS ABOUT THE BAND?
Mark: www.team13band.com Go there regularly. Sign up for our mailing list and whenever there’s news you’ll hear about it.
LAST WORDS?
Mark: You asking me or telling me? If asking “not guilty!”
CHECK OUT:
-// Team 13
-// Reverse the Polarity of the Neutron Flow
